A piece of advice for lonely moments
“Working abroad we often feel stressed (or even constantly). In the beginning, we are stressed about almost everything. Whether we’ll manage at work or know the language well enough to understand our boss and colleagues. Later, anxiety about survival appears. Will I be able to keep up with my job or will I have enough money (…)? We miss our loved ones. If we already have our family with us, we are worried about the well-being and mental state of our children and spouse. We often feel lonely and sad.” – says Ewa Moczulska, psychologist and addiction psychotherapist.
How can we deal with loneliness when living abroad?
Certainly, it will be much easier for us to endure the longing for the home country and our loved ones if we establish new relationships with other people. Let’s try not to isolate ourselves and look for friends in our place of residence, in a new job. From time to time, it is worth going out with new people or inviting them to your place. Try to take the initiative of such meetings, it may turn out that there are more people around you, who are looking for company!
Stay in touch with your relatives who remained in the country – believe us, it will truly lift you up when you have a worse moment! Do not wait for someone to call you first, do not be offended if someone close to you did not call you or text you for a long time. Take the initiative if they are important to you!
Among your people
It’s really worth meeting people of the same nationality! If you miss your culture and traditions abroad, look for places where you will feel more “at home” and less lonely. Talk to others when it’s hard and you can’t cope with something. First of all, don’t isolate yourself and pretend that everything is fine. It takes a lot of inner strength and courage to open up to people and be more vulnerable. At this time, you often have to face your own fears and weaknesses. It’s hard but in the long run, it can be very helpful. Oftentimes, just speaking your heart out brings a lot of relief and makes it easier to deal with the situation emotionally.
Get to know a foreign culture so that it becomes more familiar to you. New things can be scary, but they can become very interesting over time. Being open to getting to know a different culture allows you to quickly adapt to a new environment and people.
How can we cope with stress if we feel really overwhelmed by it?
We often feel stressed as immigrants. Some of us feel it constantly. In the beginning, we are stressed about almost everything. Whether we’ll manage at work or know the language well enough to understand our boss and colleagues. Later, anxiety about survival appears. Will I be able to keep up with my job or will I have enough money (…)? We miss our loved ones. If we already have our family with us, we are worried about the well-being and mental state of our children and spouse. We often feel lonely and sad.
There are endless reasons for feeling stressed…
That’s why it’s worth finding a way to overcome anxiety, so that it wouldn’t be our constant companion. According to Richard Lazarus’ concept, we ourselves, are responsible for our stress. Therefore, we have a responsibility to overcome it. There are thousands of advice and theories for overcoming stress, perhaps even hundreds of thousands. Everyone has to choose what is best for them in these situations.
Physical activity
It can be hiking or going for a walk (preferably in nature). The human body is made to move. Lack of exercise causes illness and decline in mood. Putting one leg in front of the other is of utmost importance to our health. It reduces the risk of developing diseases such as cancer, dementia and heart disease. It helps to overcome stress and anxiety. Going for a walk helps to regenerate the brain and body. Problems disappear, solutions appear by themselves. Neurological research on the relationship between physical activity and the work of our brain shows that serotonin levels in specific areas of the brain increase during physical activity. Serotonin is a signaling hormone that helps us stay calm, feel good, optimistic and happy. It also plays a big role in regulating appetite, sleep and memory. The second important substance that is released during physical activity is dopamine, which rewards our effort with a pleasant feeling of satisfaction. Dopamine is addictive, so after some time we feel addicted to the chosen activity.
Set some free time for yourself
When we’re overwhelmed and stressed, it’s easy to forget the importance of doing the things we like. It is worth finding a hobby and practicing it consistently. This is important because by doing what you like, you are nourishing your brain and recharging your batteries.
Set boundaries
Setting boundaries is an effective way to deal with stress – and it’s not just about work-life balance. It’s also important to set boundaries with friends or family members who require you to devote too much time to them. Although friends and family are people we love, sticking to what they expect from us can be very stressful, especially if you can’t live up to their expectations. If you find yourself in such a situation, you need to determine when you have time to talk, or set a limit of time that you spend with someone. When you set your boundaries, others tend to respect them as well.
Maintain a healthy diet
Following a healthy diet is key to coping with stress. Everything in the body is connected. Furthermore, with preventing stress it may help to boost the immune system and lower blood pressure. You should drink plenty of water and avoid skipping meals or overeating. Oranges, spinach, complex carbohydrates, fatty fish, black tea, pistachios and avocados are some of the foods that can help you lower stress in your life.
We would like to thank the psychologist Ewa Moczulska, the co-founder of the psychological center “Zmiana na lepsze” in Zielona Góra, for the interview.
